HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A BROKEN HEART?

You cry and scream and you act pathetic. You skip out on showers and lay in bed for days on end. You have pity parties. You get irritable and you push everyone away. You cry in bed. You cry in the shower. You let your heart ache. You let the pain throb and pulse through your entire body. You blame them, You blame yourself, you blame the world. You exhaust yourself with " What if i did this....would we be together? " You pretend you are getting better, only to have a relapse. You drink irresponsibly in hopes that you'll forget them for one night. However, This will only backfire and you'll end up crying harder and trying to drunk dial them. You consider giving up in life. You gather the strength to get up and take a shower only to break down once you start the water. You attempt to completely remove them from your life, You attempt to bring them back into your life. You can't bear being around anyone or anything, because everything around you  reminds you of them. You watch romance movies and listen to love songs, Then you will listen to I WILL SURVIVE by Gloria Gaynor. You have your good days and your bad days. You distract yourself at times, and  other times you sit semi comfortably with your misery. You wait for them to come back no matter how unrealistic that is. You wait until one day you wake up and the sun shines a little different. The wind grazes you and there's a slight spring in your step. One day yo catch yourself laughing genuinely, and things seem okay. You go out with friends and family again, except your not distracting yourself anymore. You still have those Saturday nights when you sob while watching. The notebook while wondering if they'll ever come back. But the feeling doesn't last. You wake up on sunday and feel alright again. Happiness will grow again, it just takes strength and patience...

TIPSY

It all started when i asked my friend " Dana, tomorrow is your day off GOODIES and inom ba ulet? " And she said " game " Actually,We already did it once a few weeks before and this is the second time around. Giving our selves a break once a week after a stress full work. I guess We definitely deserve it. 
11:45pm, We went to the store to get some drinks but this time together with one another friend Joko. I dont remember what he exactly said but its something like this " ok, i will just accompany you pero hindi ako iinom " but dana says " dont be a KJ " After a little conversation on that store we made a plan. no, THEY changed the plan and that is we will go to joko's place instead on that Goodies restaurant and do the drinking session (wow, am i actually saying the word DRINKING? haha!) 
I will admit, i do have hesitation on that time (hindi lang halata. hehe) but im actually saying to her " hindi kaya tayo isumbong ng mommy o kaya ng lola nyan kay doktora at sabihin na.. HELLO THOSE NURSES OF YOURS naglalasing sa bahay! get rid of them " aww, I really can't imagine that. haha


So going back to the story we landed safely to the place haha,  Actually it is more likely a perfect place to watch the beauty of the stars and the moon while laying down (senti? hehe) but i'm afraid that i don't have the chance to do that Because the last thing i know is everytime i will try to open my eyes my surroundings keep spinning around. Did i drink too much or just because madali lang talaga ako malasing? i don't know, but this is the first ever time na nagyari sakin to. And i'll tell you i can't really control my self from falling down whenever i try to stand. I am helplessly weak. So this is the feeling huh? I can't enumerate all the details that happened during that time. Yeah, I remember some things but not that very clear. But there is that ONE thing that always keep flashing on my mind.... Oh my gosh! did it actually happened? Did i respond? haha!  but Above all, 
Im just thankful na theres always someone there to catch me.. Dana, Joko thank you. i owe you a lot guys kahit na paggising ko madami akong gasgas at pasa sa balat. haha! anyway, this isn't your fault. 
And mostly Sorry for the mess that i've caused :) It wont happen anymore.


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